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Taking Breaks during the Anthropocene

Darlings,

I don’t know about you, but I needed a break from national news and the unsettling feeling that we might not be able to stop our country’s slide into the horrors of whatever Trumpistas have planned for after the election.

To that end, I did several things this week that helped protect my mental ability to continue the struggle and I’d like to share them with you because they’re so goddammed positive I’m radiating joy through my clenched teeth and tear stained face right now:

  • I started every day this week with a sob on the way to work (sorry, other commuters on Route 28. I forget that you can also see me ugly cry at 9:30 in the morning because windshield glass is transparent) or in front of the TV. I disconcerted my husband a little with letting him know that I was having this reaction to eleven perfectly lovely people being murdered in their place of worship, but then reminded him that normal human beings cry at stuff that is horrific, tragic and completely preventable. What I’m saying is, I’m not a fucking snowflake for being sad and letting that emotion out. I’m a healthy person and you are too, if you have similar emotions about shootings, bombings and other violence perpetrated on people.

In response to this, I reached out to people I haven’t talked to in a long time. This included a friend who lives in Pittsburgh and works at a nonprofit refugee resettlement organization. Not only was it a relief to realize that she was ok and her beloved city was as safe as it was going to be, (“We’re safe. Don’t worry. There’s Israeli massad-looking guards and FBI everywhere.”), but that there are so many things to do to assist. Specifically, look at the suggestions on the webpage of the fine organization she works for here: www.jfcspgh.org/communitysupport.  Or, you can support HIAS, the group specifically called out by a coward radicalized online and by our sad, my-father-didn’t-really-love-me, dumpster-fire-in-chief here: https://www.hias.org/. Also, maybe just go be a human by reaching out to your local synagogue and seeing what they need. I bet they’d appreciate it and you’d get the feels.

  • On Thursday, we went to the movies like we did before the world started falling apart around us. The movie? Bohemian Rhapsody. I don’t care how inaccurate it was. I needed it. Freddie Mercury is the rock god by which all other rock gods will be judged. I’m sure there are many people who will analyze it better than I will, but my takeaways were that things that make us different can sometimes make us extraordinary; love is what binds us all together and makes us better; communication is hard for all families, but it’s totally worth having difficult conversations and calling people out on their bullshit when it hurts you; LGBTQ people create so much space for the rest of us to be whatever it is we’re going to be (not to put the burden of being magic rainbow unicorns on every LGBTQ person or indicating that your existence should be a benefit to me, just ham-fistedly trying to express gratitude); and the ‘70’s were the pinnacle of human artistic expression as far as I can tell. Also, maybe that is linked to terrible excesses. I don’t know. It’s the opinion of a partial and ignorant historian.
  • I spent the better part of Saturday morning reading our local newspapers. Not the Washington Post—Loudoun Now and the Loudoun Times Mirror. There were no less than a dozen articles in each paper about how the community is working on issues and support each other in difficult times. If all you do is read or listen to the national news, you’d think the country is only voter suppression and violence. The closer you get to the local, the more you are reminded most of us are decent people just trying to make it through. Additionally, work at the local level is sometimes the most potent. The point I’m trying to make is support your local press. It will be there when you need it if you do.
  • I ate my vegetables. I’m serious; all of this resisting takes a lot of vitamins and minerals. Eating junk food last week was seriously draining. Eating vegetables this week made everything better.
  • I donated to campaigns, walked a packet, solicited for other people’s campaigns and did what I could for the races this year. It matters. It all matters. Ask the Dems in Shelley Simond’s district if they wished they had walked one more packet, spent one more hour on the phones, written another stack of postcards and I bet the answer you will get is, “Yes. A thousand times, yes”. Democracy hinges on every vote. You may feel more in control of the direction this ridiculousness if you participate in whatever way you are able.

I’m now going to go shower, put on a fancy dress, and go to the Freedom Fund Dinner Banquet with Chris.  It is hosted by the Loudoun County chapter of the NAACP, where some of the best people in the county will also be in fancy dresses and nice suits to raise money for the protection of everyone’s civil liberties and scholarships. Not a bad Saturday night and cap to a week that has needed positivity.

I adore you,

Amanda

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Despondence and the Anthropocene

There are so many ways to start this initial blog post I’m not even sure where to begin. My husband is the great communicator of our pair and has so many blog posts ready to go. I have half drafts of multiple ideas started in my head for the positive things that normally swirl through my optimistic head. It’s unexpected to me personally, then, that it’s despondence that is the motivator to start.

It has been a real month. Between the horrors happening to children at the United States border, the erosion of faith in our democratic system, climate change, plastic in the oceans and the suicide of Anthony Bourdain triggering reports that suicide and depression has been up among Americans for well over a decade now because of rot in our culture, I am currently feeling like no amount of effort I make as an individual is going to make a dent in this mess. In response to all of that, I just had a really good sob into my bathrobe while wondering to myself if that is what a healthy person would do. I decided that it was and feel better for having done it and better for having just cried typing about it.

I suppose from there I have a couple of options (in no particular order other than the one that my brain is coming up with them):

1) Wallow.

I don’t know how much value this has a an option. Psychologically, it seems like it must be part of the healing process necessary to move forward. A quick search of “can wallowing be helpful” does indeed turn up a few articles on the subject. This one was very helpful. This one was also not too bad.

Ok, wallowing noted to keep in the toolbox. Also, it makes me think I should really look into the psychology helpline I pay for as part of my insurance instead of feeling that odd stigma of needing help working through what I believe is a rational response to the current state of the world. I’ll let you know how that goes.

2) Disconnect from the Source of Distress

There are a lot of thoughts swirling around in my head on this one. I’m sure watching the nightly news, too much consumption of social media in the form of Facebook and Twitter and feeling like my every action has to be a net positive one (along with the feelings of guilt when they are not net positive) are all piling on and helping with the despondence.

After Chris and I got married and we had decided we weren’t going to have kids, we wondered what to do with ourselves and our time. Getting involved with our community seemed like the obvious answer. So, we engaged with our local environmental organizations, our county level political party, the county chapter of the NAACP and Chris even became a leader in our HOA. Once there, we’ve found amazing people and connections to our community that I don’t think either of us realized were available to anyone willing to show up. Humans, apparently, get enjoyment out of engaging with each other and solving problems together! Who knew!

Lately, however, it feels like the only things we’re doing revolve around community organizing, activism, staying informed and interacting with other people in the same boat. We are at the point where we’re scheduling fun and relaxation and I’m not sure that’s entirely healthy or helpful.

In the last week no less than three people I have talked to have said to stop watching the news every night. All of the corruption and awful violations of our country’s norms will be there on Monday.

Do I have it within me to do what I see many coworkers and neighbors doing and just be as blissfully ignorant as they can be? I don’t think so, but I also don’t think being hyper-engaged is moving the needle as much as I would like. So, maybe Maddow doesn’t get watched this week, again.

A quick search of the interwebs pulls up many articles on activist fatigue and how to address it. I like this one, which talks about one person’s experience after Charlottesville, and this one, which has some good insight into activist group dynamics and tips.

3) Take Half Measures

For this one, what I think I’m trying to say is that just because an opportunity for an action comes up doesn’t mean I have to help organize or participate. I am allowed to make judgement calls on the best use of my time and energy and not organizing or participating doesn’t make me a traitor to others or what we’re trying to accomplish. On this one, I am very lucky in that Chris is very honest with himself and others about boundaries and what he is and is not willing to do.

4) Practice Self Care

This is more of a list that I think needs to be fleshed out and perhaps added to with future examples or a separate post (also, I’m getting bored of writing and think you may be getting bored of reading).

  • Recognize when you need a break
  • Exercise
  • Eat right
  • Make a point of putting your own oxygen mask on first.
  • Give yourself a break. Find something that is disconnected from the shit swirl, whether that’s gardening, dancing, vacationing, reading a romance novel, taking up guitar, playing Cards Against Humanity or whatever else you may need, but make time for that.

5) Share the Burden

If you’re burnt out, let others know. Actually, going back to 1, be honest with all of your emotions. You’re worth it. Also recognize that you aren’t cleaning up the whole ocean by yourself. You aren’t stopping 45 and his assembled team of the worst people in the U.S. and their enablers all by your lonesome. Tell people how much this means to you and tell them how they can help.

6) Celebrate victories and notice the progress, too.

Yes, it’s shitty out there. There have been worse times in history and people got through those. We’ve never gone through an anthropocene, but I can’t believe we’re actually going to let the human species go extinct so fossil fuel executives can all have yachts at the end of history.

Yes, there is plastic in every bite of seafood now. Yes, the corals are bleached perhaps beyond resuscitation. Yes, the greenhouse gases in the atmosphere are part of boiling life alive across the globe.

On the positive side, shitheads like David Koch are reaching the end of their mortal coil and are not being replaced. Kids are realizing that they have the power to effect change and are actually doing it. Women are taking hold of the power we have let sit dormant for so long. There are reasons to be hopeful. Frankly, if we can beat the Nazis and make it into space, I am hopeful that we can do just about anything we set our collective minds to.

This may all be trite and repetitive, but I wrote this for me. If it was helpful for you, I am very glad. If it was not helpful for you, that’s ok, too.

Peace.